The days

Losing it

Its always true that with time, passion fades. Then comes the problem, of not being able to perform. You review the good old days when your passion drives you and keep you focused, only to realise how much you have detiorate. Then, you were firm and sturdy. Now, you shake and give way to things you said you won't allow. Are you a wuss, or just a victim of disinterested comformity?

I was up all night, dutifully ensuring things go smoothly at the vehicle shed. The night is serene, with an occasional drizzle that adds a smoothing touch to the atmosphere. The guards are prowling, because my eyes are fixed on them. When I so much as look away for a minute, I come back to find them sleeping. Its a pain in the neck and plain irritating. Its 4am in the morning and my eyes are drooping. I put Yeltsin's bibliography aside and took a stroll around the shed to keep myself awake, only to find the two prowlers sleeping on the ramp. See the difference?

I can feel the blood rush in me as I ready myself to unleash a series of scoldings. Yet, something holds me back, like a reluctant arm of hell unwilling to let loose its grip. They deserve to be hang. Why bother? Now I understand with a clearer head. Its me, loosing grip-of my mind and will.

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Few know what actually happen after Zon graduated with his Masters. It seem there is a 6 years gap his his recorded chronicles. The tormented young man led a life of seclusion for 5 whole years in an unknown mental institute. Little is known about his life during this period of time. Was he insane? Definitely not. There are reasons to believe that he chose to spend these precious years learning. An account by one the the nurses claimed that he spent a great due of time associating with savants. Among whom, his closest companion was a Russian named Nikoladyse. Nikoladyse suffered from chronic pseudo-consciousness. A condition in which the patient constantly experiences double reality, peering deep into the roots of consciousness. Such patients are unable to communicate through speech. It appears that as time passed by, Nikoladyse condition improved drastically and even aquired some form of communication skills (There are evidence that Zon devised a method of communicating with him using tape recorders). TBC...

posted by zente @ 7:06 AM